Well, the time draws near for one of the biggest nights for drunken revelry in the United States. It's time to put on your green hat, find some funny Irish t-shirts, and get down to partying. It's not like your friends are going to let you slide and stay home. Your destined for the bar, and there is very little you can do about it but swallow your green beer and smile...it's almost St. Paddy's Day.
The night always begins slow, because all of the new partiers are nervous and timid while the experienced partiers know that it is a marathon, and not a sprint. There's no sense in getting blackout drunk before 5 o'clock! It won't matter what funny Irish t-shirts you're wearing if you can't remember making people laugh with it, right?
When you are thoroughly socially lubricated, you can expect your fine choice of funny Irish t-shirts to pay off. This is the point of the night when your natural charisma starts to seriously fade, and your hilarious shirt will pick up the slack where you are lacking. It's hard to tell a good joke when you are the only one laughing. Let the shirts do their work.
The clock is ticking closer toward midnight, and it's time to ask yourself a very important question. Look around the room, and ask yourself, "Am I the drunkest person in the room?" The only correct response is "no," of course. Make sure you haven't spilled anything on your funny Irish t-shirts and get back to drinking.
When you wake up, you're likely to be either in an alley, the back of someone's car, or a jail cell. You're also very likely to be wearing someone else's vomit on your funny Irish t-shirts. It may be a whole different adventure finding your way home while the sun tries to kill you, but you must get home to the comfort of your dark bedroom. Good luck on this journey. Your night of pretending to be Irish has finally come to an end.
The night always begins slow, because all of the new partiers are nervous and timid while the experienced partiers know that it is a marathon, and not a sprint. There's no sense in getting blackout drunk before 5 o'clock! It won't matter what funny Irish t-shirts you're wearing if you can't remember making people laugh with it, right?
When you are thoroughly socially lubricated, you can expect your fine choice of funny Irish t-shirts to pay off. This is the point of the night when your natural charisma starts to seriously fade, and your hilarious shirt will pick up the slack where you are lacking. It's hard to tell a good joke when you are the only one laughing. Let the shirts do their work.
The clock is ticking closer toward midnight, and it's time to ask yourself a very important question. Look around the room, and ask yourself, "Am I the drunkest person in the room?" The only correct response is "no," of course. Make sure you haven't spilled anything on your funny Irish t-shirts and get back to drinking.
When you wake up, you're likely to be either in an alley, the back of someone's car, or a jail cell. You're also very likely to be wearing someone else's vomit on your funny Irish t-shirts. It may be a whole different adventure finding your way home while the sun tries to kill you, but you must get home to the comfort of your dark bedroom. Good luck on this journey. Your night of pretending to be Irish has finally come to an end.
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